As a Colorado Criminal Defense attorney not much truly shocks me anymore. Occasionally a situation arises that truly blows my mind. That time has arrived again in a truly shocking event. This “event” is not a grotesque revelation surrounding my latest Sex Assault, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, or even my latest DUI case. Rather this shocking event surrounds the police and a simple traffic stop. Specifically, a New Mexico law enforcement agency received a search warrant after their drug dog had a hit on a possible suspect.
So how did these cops search for the drugs? They conducted three separate enemas on this suspect who was simply pulled over for a traffic violation. In case you are only loosely knowledgeable about what an “enema” entails I will illuminate for you. According to Wikipedia “an enema is the procedure of introducing liquids into the rectum and colon via the anus. The increasing volume of the liquid causes rapid expansion of the lower intestinal tract, often resulting in very uncomfortable bloating, cramping, powerful peristalsis, a feeling of extreme urgency and complete evacuation of the lower intestinal tract. An enema has the advantage over any laxative in its speed and certainty of action.”
That’s right. THREE enemas.
Worst. Speeding. Ticket. Ever.
You know what those cops found? Nothing. No drugs whatsoever. Nada.
So as law enforcement is left with their adventures in scatology, desperately pondering their own cop’s faulty observations, and hiding the Milkbones from their once trusted drug dog, a poor innocent person has been anally violated under the approving eyes of the law.
This one event begs the question. How many other poor people endured accusation, charges, conviction, and jail time based on this one cop, drug dog, and perhaps the same enema procedure? What happens to the next poor bloke who gets pulled over for speeding and is met with the bright white grins emanating from the faces of Officer Johnson and his trusted dog Fido? The answers to these questions can be very terrifying. At the end of the day I thank God for the lawyers who fight for the client who has had their rights embarrassingly violated by their own government.
Think I am making this story up? Check out the link for yourself. Yes, ladies and gentlemen… this stuff actually happens.